Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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