take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize