I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize