Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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