Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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