K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
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i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
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I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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