Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
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hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
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Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
FUCK WHALES
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize