So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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