Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize