He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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