dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
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I just googled if crying burns calories
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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