you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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