I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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