There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
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She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
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I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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