i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
