I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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