I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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