The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
smell my finger.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
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I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
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Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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