I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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