apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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