My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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