It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize