The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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