you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize