my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
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I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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