Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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