I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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