dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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