Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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