I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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