1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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