I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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