Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
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When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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