i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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