nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize