I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Randomize