i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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