Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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