i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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