Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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