In the future we'll all be gay
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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