I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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