i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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