i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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