Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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