if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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