If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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