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Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Randomize
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