This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
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Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
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Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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