Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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