if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize