I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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